Business lingo

Often enough I find myself somewhat bemused and annoyed at the latest business bastardisation of our language. ( As a point why must every text program throw a fit when I use an 's' instead of a 'z' when typing blabla-isation. Damn yanks get your own language!)

Just flicking through the various pastry-cutter type news programs and reality shows 'The apprentice' - 'Big chef takes on Little Chef' etc, It amazes me anyone on the planet can understand the idiots.

If I had it my way anyone saying 'blue skies thinking' would get the death penalty but that’s beside the point.

So to get on point with this post: Here’s a list of business lingo and may take on them..

Business jargon/lingo in bold
Definition in normal
My comments in Italics

Blue Skies thinking: Open minded thinking [I'm a moron, I haven't got a clue what I'm asking for. I'd better say something... Anything... If I don't understand it. They won't. I'm the boss they'll have to nod and agree.]

Through cycle: "We don't worry too much about the recession because we're a through cycle kind of business." [WTF? This makes my head implode!]

Uninstall: Being fired. [Almost the most callous thing I have ever heard.]

Now I'm not against every bit of lingo, so here's a little list of the most awesome!

W.O.M.B.A.T: Waste of money, brains and time. [Cruel but oh so funny! no doubt people take offense to it without understanding it!]

Google-Bating: Searching your own name through Google [Known as Ego-surfing. But I dislike that term so much!]

404: As in 404 error. Clueless. [Perhaps I like this because I'm a geek? answers on a e-card please!]

IMglish: The combination of chat abbreviations and online slang commonly encountered in instant messages conversations. [Not bad I must say.]

P.E.B.C.A.K: Help desk lingo for user error (problem exists between chair and keyboard).[Score 1 to the tech's!]

Cinderella-ware: Software which becomes useless after a trial period unless the user pays for and registers it. [I'm sure everyone has come across this before,this is a good term for it, most free stuff turns into a festering pumpkin sooner or later, no?]

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the *insert expletive* out of an electronic device to get it to work again. [ I'm sure we've all resorted to this before, I did yesterday with a CD-ROM drive, works now.]

Hmmm its weird I've found more I like than I dislike. Ohwell more to come in the following weeks, Hopefully I can re-address the balance.

Hell, use the comment feature to post your own!

do it!

You know you want to!